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“Water parks were created to prepare humans for ocean parks, which will be created when the moon destroys all amusement parks for its own amusement.”

If that description of Splash Island on Metro Deal doesn’t call your attention, you’re dead inside.

On Friday, May 5, netizen Sofia Ignacio posted screenshots of Metro Deal’s website showing the hilarious Splash Island’s description. We bet that you won’t finish the whole description without laughing out loud

If you haven't read the description of Splash Island on Metro Deal, you definitely should.Yes, it's real: http://www.metrodeal.com/mobile/deals/Metro_Manila/Splash-Island/632564940

Posted by Sofia Ignacio on Friday, May 5, 2017

Allow us a pull quote: “These include the Balsa River, a lazy ride ideal for the lazy child wanting to practice his or her lazy sprawl, which will be perfected 15 years later somewhere in the abyss of the living-room couch.”

“The King Pilipit, a swirling slide that is under rising pressure until a final drop dumps you in a pool, is the perfect place to test if sewing your passport into your appendix keeps it safe.”

“Treat family, friends, spouses, and friends’ spouses to a non-shark-related adrenaline rush with today’s MetroDeal to Splash Island.”

Either the copywriter was sleepless, drunk, or a mad genius.

Thank you for giving us a good weekend laughter, Splash Island!

Photos screen grabbed from Metro Deal 

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