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It’s Valentine’s Day weekend! Are you ready to go all mushy to celebrate love, love, and more love? If you don’t have a date yet for February 14, then we have a few tips on what you should do in order NOT to score one.

Be a creepy stalker

Like all her Facebook photos and comment in a weird way even though you two are not yet that close – more so, if you’re still considered a “stranger”.

photo like

Here’s a sample. Attractive, right?

comment creepy

Appear everywhere she goes “accidentally” and bump into her. Tell her that you’re in the same place EVERY SINGLE TIME and fly to where she is as soon as she checks in on FourSquare or Facebook.

check in fb

Stalk her mom, her dad, her friends, her relatives, her siblings, her ex-boyfriends, and whoever tagged her on Facebook just because you want to. That would be awesome.

Be annoying

If you’re lucky enough to have this girl’s cellphone number, text her every minute of every day with pointless things… even though she doesn’t reply.

Be cocky

Show off! Brag about yourself in ways that will make you look like a complete jerk. Don’t show interest about what she’s saying. Go on a “me-spree” when telling stories.

Be self-doubting

 

Stay unsure of everything you want to do (e.g. ask her out on a date, get to know her first, strike a conversation). Express everything in a manner that makes you look like a scaredy cat. Don’t say anything no matter how awkward things get. *croo*

Be someone who doesn’t have plans

Oh, you will surely get the attention of a girl if you don’t have plans. Every time you’re asked by a girl “What do you want to do today?”, return the question: “Depends on you. What do you wanna do?” Do this whenever you get the chance. WORKS ALL THE TIME.

Make up your mind.

Be overconfident

johnny bravo

Feel all gwapo because that girl is already into you even before you said hi to her. Say “I love you” right away because yes, there’s such a thing as love at first sight! (I don’t know who you’ll fool with that, given the trust issues girls are having nowadays).

Be (overly) touchy

Personal space? Nope.

Be a player who’s proud of it

 

Blatantly ask girls out even though it’s obvious that you’re in a relationship and you’re constantly uploading photos of yourself with dozens of girls from different parts of the world.

Well, don’t get me wrong but some girls find some of the above mentioned traits to be “cute” in some way – I guess it depends on the way you do it. For example, guys who are a bit awkward can look cute by looking all clumsy and bashful. Only the chosen ones can perfectly pull this off.

After all, if a girl is really into you, they’d laugh at your corny jokes, they’ll look past your faults, and no matter how you act, they’d still find it charming.

Anyway, if you guys want to get turned down in an instant, just follow the tips above. You’re welcome.

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