American singer, songwriter and actress Demi Lovato opened up about her personal struggles and triumphs in her Youtube documentary, Simply Complicated.
The 78-minute film was released on Lovato’s official Youtube account on Wednesday, October 18.
The “Sorry Not Sorry” singer did not hold back at sharing her experiences in the past 10 years.
“The last decade has taught me a lifetime of lessons. I’ve learned that secrets make you sick. I’m learning how to be a voice and not a victim. I’ve learned that sex is natural. I’ve learned that love is necessary. Heartbreak is unavoidable, and loneliness is brutal. I’ve learned that the key to being happy is to tell your truth and be OK without all the answers. This is my story. This is Simply Complicated,” she said as the documentary began.
Through interviews of the 25-year-old performer, her mother, a childhood friend and her sister, details were candidly revealed on Lovato’s drug and alcohol addiction, physical, mental and emotional health issues, and dealing with heartbreak.
As an intensely bullied kid, the Camp Rock lead star turned to alcohol and drugs – adderall and cocaine, in particular – at age 17 through a popular friend who encouraged ‘partying’. She would later become dependent on these elements to get through her days. Her biological father, who she never grew up with, was an addict and alcoholic.
“I guess I always searched for what he found in drugs and alcohol because it fulfilled him, and he chose that over a family,”she shared.
The demons continued eating up Lovato. Punching a back up dancer who told on her use of adderall, resulting to her first rehab entrance at a young age of 18, did not stop her from substance abuse. Throughout her meltdown, her manager Phil McIntyre was with her, but he too, was at a breaking point.
“I was fully intending to drop her,” he said.
At this point, the singer completely submitted to the process of recovery, knowing ‘that’s when the change is gonna happen’.
MMA and Brazilian jiu jitsu has helped her stay sober for 5 years.
“The gym really helps. I know that I would be a very dark place without it. Working out is a form of meditation to me because I’m not focused on anything in my head,” Lovato explained.
While she has worked her way around alcohol and drugs, she said eating disorder – binging – is still one demon she has not fully conquered, admitting at one point in the film that she ‘had relapsed a few nights ago’ binge eating because she missed her six-year boyfriend – now ex – and first love, television personality Wilmer Valderrama.
“Food is still the biggest challenge in my life and it controls — I don’t want to give it the power to say it controls my every thought, but it’s something that I’m constantly thinking about,” she said.
Lovato, who first rose to fame as an actress for the Disney Channel, recently released her latest album, “Tell Me You Love Me,” filled with her most vulnerable music to date.
Watch the full documentary here:
Photo from BreatheHeavy