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Ah, Lent begins tomorrow. For a Catholic country like ours, that means giving up meat and eating just one full meal on all Fridays of the season—and on Ash Wednesday, of course.

Thankfully, during Sunday’s homily, we caught the priest say, “it isn’t about giving up meat because meat is just a metaphor for whatever gives you pleasure.” And suddenly, we felt the strange, new sensation of agreeing with someone from the group that doesn’t think highly of contraception and other better family planning methods.

Besides, what if you’re vegetarian?

And so, allow us to list down all the other things that will make for a great sacrifice.

1. Chocolate

Can it also just be on Fridays?

2. Processed sugar

You’ll appreciate the added benefit of weight loss, too.

3. Social media

It comes with a promise of sanity regained.

4. Happy hour

Or at least limit to a glass per drinking session?

5. Cigarettes

Imagine how much money you’ll save!

6. Sex

Ha ha, as if we’re getting any on non-Lent days.

7. Buying another pair of shoes

Good girl.

8. Or another bag

Good girl.

9. Sleeping in on Saturday

Let’s head out to the gym instead.

10. Eating another cup of rice

Think: There will be more gut real estate for ulam!

11. Having another scoop of ice cream

A heartfelt good luck: We can feel summer is already here.

12. Complaining

When you’ve succeeded, tell us how.

13. Your weekly massage

Maybe it’s a chiropractor you need and not a masahe

14. Hour-long baths

Think of the environment and limit it to 30 minutes?

15.  Judging others

Remember: You are not a judge.


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