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In the global scheme of things, today is some sort of a Christmas, when people get together, pass stuff to the left-hand side, and revel in the purple haze.

In our scheme of things however, nothing of that sort is going to happen. #Gahd, We hate drugs, remember?

Our food trip will go on as planned, though. We’ll go to smokehouses because if we can’t smoke, we’ll have smoked meats instead.

Below are six smokehouses in Metro Manila to visit. If you’re feeling high, dry, and desperate, feel free to list them down as 4.2 items, instead #trololo

1. Smoking Joint

Ah, the little smoke house that could! ! It moved from Aguirre Street in BF Homes to Green Sun on Pasong Tamo, where things got supremely proper: there’s a proper smoking area in the second floor deck, a proper dining area spread across two floors, and most important of them all: a proper kitchen. As such, Chef Dino Dizon is able to put in full display his smoking prowess. From beef to pork ribs to fish, he plans to smoke cheese, bacon, salt even, everything. While a lot has changed—and for the better, as its corned beef demonstrates—the most important has remained the same, that is it’s still low and slow barbecue you get here. 2285 Green Sun Hotel, Chino Roces Extension, Makati. +63 2 4235514. 11am-11:45pm

2. Mighty Quinns

It’s a short, compact menu but mygod, what a short, compact menu Mighty Quinns has! Save for the dirty rice found in its list burnt sides, it’s exactly what New York and Mighty Quinns’ five other US branches are enjoying: Pulled pork, pork spare ribs, beef brisket, and the signature Brontausarus rib. They’ve all been carefully dry-rubbed, marinated and smoke-roasted for 18-20 hours. Talk about dedication! Read about Mighty Quinn’s here.  3/F SM Mega Fashion Hall, SM Megamall, Mandaluyong

3. Holy Smokes

Locally sourced wood, kaimito and santol, is one of the many secrets of Holy Smokes, the beloved smokehouse in Poblacion. That it’s always busy and bustling should tell you: Food here is the bomb. The pork ribs is not to be missed, as the beef brisket, the manimal sandwich, the nachos—should we go on? 5834 Matilde St, Poblacion, Makati. +639175329361. 5pm-12am

4. Pitmasters

Come back for our classic Pork Ribs! #pitmastersph #smokedmeat #ribs #kapitolyoeats #kapitolyofoodtrip

A post shared by Pitmaster's Smokehouse BBQ (@pitmastersph) on

From a humble ihaw-ihaw, Pitmasters evolved to become a legit smokehouse, right smack in the foodie haven that is Kapitolyo. Pitmaster makes it fall-off-the-bone pork ribs even more special by allowing diners to choose their BBQ glaze. Its bacon strips are smoked and generously covered with honey glaze giving it the perfect sweet and salty combonalo. If you’re not feeling pork, why are you here? Just kidding. The angus brisket should do the trick. It’s smoked for over 15 hours, so when the beef melts in your mouth, it releases incredible, lingering flavors. 64 East Capitol Drive, Kapitolyo, Pasig. +63 2 6169719. 11am-2am

5. Fat Daddy’s

Cheap and delicious: If those two words don’t get you booking an Uber to Marikina or BGC, you’re probably vegetarian, in which case, you’re forgiven. Fat Daddy’s is a meat joint, where dishes are prepared with utmost love, care, and time. The smoked beef brisket for instance takes 16 hours in the smoking locker, while it takes 10 days for the corned beef to be cured. And then there are all the trimmings that make sure your love jar for Fat Daddy’s is full to the brim: hot pork poppers aka fried liempo, the smoked wings, and the pulled pork and bacon nachos. 171 Dao Street, Marikina Heights, Marikina. +639175702983. 11am-10pm

6. Big Daddy J’s

From Mercato, Big Daddy J’s quickly established itself in Cubao, where its fans followed it, damn the traffic, the chaos, and the lack of parking in the QC nabe. It now also has a second location on Aguirre in the south; the success is expected. Unlike most smokehouses, which is steeped in Texas BBQ, Big Daddy J’s follow the South Carolina tradition. The meat gets a six-hour smoke session before getting rubbed with sauce and spices. Ah, doesn’t it sound like something you’d like to do today?

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